Forgive them, they don't know what they do

I know... I should get over it, but it's still there. I'm trying to let go and I know that understanding the human nature of those who have hurt me should do the job... I hear the words "Father, forgive them, they don't know what they do"... and a part of me jumps on my seat and can't stay put: Shouldn't we let them know what they are doing? Shouldn't someone teach them a lesson? Do I really have to stay put and do nothing about it?
Why can't I just let it go?
Because I need to be recognized. I need to know that they know how they hurt me. I need empathy. I need it... I want it... And I don't want to let it rest until I know they know....I don´t want to forget until I can be sure it won't happen again... I don't want it to happen again. Who will acknowledge me...
And again my mind goes to that same scene where Jesus is just letting things happen and placing his spirit onto God's hands. And Jesus is telling me, without any words: I AM acknowledging you. I know how it hurts.. I know it's not fair. I know how painful and how broken you feel, and I know just how close you are to losing all faith in others, in yourself, and in God. I know because I went through it. So I'm going to take your hand and I'm going to let the pain die so that you can live again. You don't have to do anything, you don't have to speak, you don't have to make anyone realize, you don't have to teach anything, you don't have to try... I AM with you. That's why I did everything I did: to be with you...let Me be with you... let’s just be together, and let's let God do the rest.
Forgive them... please.

Nail it to the cross

Forgiving has been a topic that has kept me busy. Not because I have been too willing to forgive, but because it made me realize just how separated from God I really am. When Scott mentioned during my church’s service that an indicator of a person truly walking with Christ is how quickly and easily that person can forgive, I immediately realized just how far away I have been from Christ.
I remember a time when I wasn't so resentful, but now that I am, I just can't find peace and be content with enjoying the beautiful things I now have in my life.
Another thing that has been hunting me is what Scott said about nailing our resentments to the Cross.
Nail it to the Cross, he said. That phrase has been with me again and again. I know it’s not literally, I understand it’s symbolic, but what does it represent? How do I nail it to the Cross?
And yesterday, it hit me. I remembered that I had once thought to myself that Christ’s sacrifice was not just dying for us, it was deeper than that. It was the way he died that makes an enormous difference. He died being judged, betrayed, hurt, broken, put down, laughed at, I mean, all sorts of terrible things where done to him… and he didn’t deserve any of them.
Nevertheless, at one point, just before his crucifiers divided his garments, He said: “…Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they do.” (Luke 23: 34)
As these words -“…Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they do.”- came to my head again I remembered that Jesus is the Way because He is our greatest example. That is the moment he nailed all of our sins, hurts, betrayals onto the Cross. Sometimes people tell you “be the bigger person” in a given situation. Well, that’s the moment Christ was the Biggest Person ever. That’s the moment when he was teaching us how to nail resentments to the cross. He was loving even then. He understood the nature of those who were hurting him and was praying, asking God to be kind to them, to understand them too.
I hope God gives me the straight to forgive as well. To let the hurts I have die on the cross instead of continuing to live inside of me. Nail it to the cross and leave it there, let it die and stop it from keep on hurting.